| this is a sort of sad state of affairs |
[04 Jul 2009|09:37pm] |
writing here again. no one notices anyway, which is excellent.
i saw pictures of a friend somewhere. and it made me sad. there was a little pang that i couldn't explain, looking at the tanned, weather-beaten smile.
lines cannot be crossed. i knew that from the start. this one more so.
it'll be gone soon enough.
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| truth is, i'm still waiting |
[07 Jun 2009|10:32pm] |
sad fact: you're not going to come around.
this is me being honest with myself. i want to talk to you, but i have nothing to say. business talk, maybe. but not much else. i think that talking about it helps to some extent, but most of the time, i don't know... i hardly pass off as believable. what i want, really, is to be unselfish and nonjudgemental about all this. to be empathic, but guarded. i know it sounds conflicted, but that's what i want.
i think maybe it's no good talking about it at all.
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| dis. jointed |
[14 Sep 2008|12:07am] |
how shall i say this. where do i even start.
i guess this is the state i am in: words are trying to leave my mouth and they fail utterly, they fall like dead leaves and rotten twigs. what, really, what more can i say? this is not an axe you've dropped. this is a line you cut and you kept me hanging. but i should've seen it coming. this is a disfiguring scar that ripped and bled. this is me in the wind, severed.
i can't begin to ask if i still matter. a question that never bears answering.
i can spell traitor with my fists against a blank wall, but what good would that do?
there was a road and on that road was a fork, a turn. i should've known we weren't riding an endless highway under an eggshell sky.
so this is how it goes. we fall flat. just like this.
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| hellz why. |
[10 Feb 2008|08:02pm] |
this is the second time. a glance shot is an arrow shot.
we can't go on like this.
or can we.
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| An t-éan bán - Clann Zu |
[28 Jan 2008|11:15pm] |
An t-éan bán ag eitilt gan stró as do bhéal. Agus mise I mo sheasamh faoi do sholas géar. Na síoda ag titim barr do theanga. Níl mé abalalta na focail ceart a rá leat.
Ba mhaith liom na sléibhte is airde a dhreapadh agus na focail a bhéicil amach os cionn na scamaill is airde. Nior fagadh na focail agam. Grá mór, grá fior, grá an domhain, is é an grá is laidir. Tá mé I ngrá leat.
( ... )
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| the cult of contradiction/today is opposite day |
[28 Jan 2008|09:48pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
15 Step - Radiohead |
] |
oh.
don't tell me it's happening again.
and please wipe off that smug grin off your face, keet. doesn't suit you.
BUT FUCK YEAH THAT'S AWESOME.
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| the sunday funnies |
[27 Jan 2008|10:05pm] |
| [ |
music |
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I Could Be Dreaming - Belle and Sebastian |
] |
you know when you're grown up when you recognize a situation that's happening and you know for sure what'll happen next. yeah, i wish i could tell you that it's going to be hard and the scars will hurt, but you have to learn these things yourself. i envy your naivete all the same.
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| spicy nuggets |
[21 Dec 2007|12:36am] |
| [ |
music |
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Cemetery Drive - My Chemical Romance |
] |
wow. the weird thing about theorising about romantic relationships from a non-participant's perspective is that you get to watch your theories, or what supposedly "works" get smashed down. you might as well smack me in the face and say, "no duh"--- everyone's love story is different, la la la la. i don't know. i'm so out of it.
maybe our lives are a sad cliche. and i feel trite just saying that.
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| nice one |
[16 Dec 2007|03:53pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Disconnect the Dots - Of Montreal |
] |
good, good. that's very good. reappear after two years why don't you. but it's great. it's cool because now i can't say that you damaged me again. but your reappearance made me realise that... hey, actually, it didn't make me realise anything. so you showed up. strange, but whatever.
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| it's not. |
[14 Dec 2007|11:02pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Your Ex-Lover Is Dead - Stars |
] |
the truth is i wasn't force-fed lies. i ate them all up, hungrily, greedily, begging for more, more, more.
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| so this is what |
[11 Dec 2007|08:19pm] |
|
okay now. i feel melancholy coming on like a cold.
i wish to be more zen about everything.
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| this is no time for faery tales |
[29 Nov 2007|01:48am] |
| [ |
music |
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Let Down - Radiohead |
] |
but oh how i fucking want this. how i fucking want you, you and your oranges, your veined hands, your voice. your voice. how i love your voice. you spill flowers from your mouth and i want to catch them.
please please please please please please please.
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| two front teeth? |
[29 Nov 2007|01:18am] |
what i want right now is to coast down an empty street on a bicycle and scream my lungs out.
- a saved draft.
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| FUCK THIS FEELING YES? |
[11 Oct 2007|12:23am] |
| [ |
music |
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Taking Back Sunday - Your Own Disaster |
] |
suddenly i was a small sad child
sick with fury
i cannot unleash
yellow-mad with
(reluctant admission)
jealousy.
paranoia.
sulking, balking at all the fun
i think they're having
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| okay. |
[21 Sep 2007|05:17pm] |
:(
pam para rampam pammm
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| marapat lang |
[09 Sep 2007|04:26pm] |
i can't remember your name.
what a relief.
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